Notes:
DCI = Demonic Crimes Investigator.  Kinda like FBI, only connected to local police.  The technical term for Nina's job.

***

	Missoula has always been hard on my sense of direction, especially at night.  It's hard enough to navigate when you've got mountains to use as reference points, much less when you're driving nearly blind and don't know any street names besides.  Through some stroke of luck, I stumbled onto the U of M campus, and after a good hour's searching, found a parking spot near what I hoped was Jamie's dorm.
	At least my memory hadn't failed me, I thought bitterly as I knocked on her door.
	"Dude.  Where the FUCK have you been?" she cheerfully drawled, dragging me into a hug.
	"Butte," I answered.
	"Jeezus.  That explains a lot."

***

	Within a few minutes I was settled on a grimy dime-store couch, while Jamie perched atop her computer desk.  I sat back and sighed.  It felt good to be somewhere comfortable, for once.
	"So," she began.  "You've been gone for three weeks."  
	I curled up with my knees to my chest.  "You noticed."
	"Everyone noticed.  Cops, news media, everyone.  They say you were kidnapped or went rogue or something.  Kept questioning me, as if I knew where the hell you ended up."  She paused, tilting her head to one side with a concerned stare.  "And what the hell happened to your eyes?"
	"That's..."  Said eyes trailed down to the floor, which seemed like a safe enough place.  "It's kind of a rather long-ish story."
	Jamie glanced at her clock.  "Yeah, and I don't have class 'til noon tomorrow.  Go for it."
	"I'm not sure I want to talk about it."
	"What if I bribed you with frozen burritos?" she asked.
	"What kind?"
	"Bean and cheese."
	Dammit.  She knows me all to well.  Faking reluctance, I said "Fine, I guess I can be bribed."  Actually, I hadn't eaten in longer than I could remember, and the thought of crappy Americanized Mexican food was too tempting.
	We sat in silence while the burritos thawed in the microwave.  The machine dinged, and Jamie handed me the hot burrito and went back to her spot next to the computer.  "Alright.  So what happened?"
	I swallowed hard around a lump I didn't realize had formed in my throat.  Stupid emotions.  "There was a case.  In Butte.  It wasn't really anything big, y'know, just suspicion of someone performing demonic rituals or something.  It's routine to send the local DCI agent out to curb those sorts of things before they get out of hand, and it's not like Butte has anyone on staff to do that, so I went."
	A faint, rythmic tapping echoed softly through the room.  I realized it was my foot trembling against the small table by the couch, and decided to ignore it as long as Jamie didn't say anything.  I still wasn't looking directly at her.  "It should have been a routine sort of thing.  Investigate, make arrests, destroy anything demonic, blah blah, routine."
	"Only it wasn't," Jamie interjected when I trailed off.
	"Not hardly."
	When I didn't continue, she prodded me onward.  "What wasn't routine 'bout it?"
	I took a deep breath, trying to keep relatively calm.  The tapping continued, as if my foot wasn't a conscious part of my body anymore.  "Well, the media was right about me being kidnapped."
	Jamie snorted.  "Who the hell could kidnap YOU?"
	"My evil twin."
	"Yeah, right."
	"Seriously.  Seems Lucifer was quite the prolific evil demon-father the year that I was born."
	"What?"  Even without looking, I knew she was sitting there with her mouth open blinking with shock.  "You're not serious."
	"Yeah, I am.  This person I'm sent to investigate turns out to be this crazy bitch that Lucifer 'altered' in the same way he did with me, only she's on his side, and wants to resurrect him.  And to do that, she needs a demon, or half-demon, that Lucifer created with his own power.  So guess who she picks?"  The corners of my mouth curled up, but it wasn't really a smile.  "Poetic justice, I suppose, me being the one who offed Lucifer and all."
	"Your evil twin lives in BUTTE?" Jamie said incredulously.
	"Not really.  She's from...  I dunno, Seattle or something.  She mentioned it once, but I don't think I was in any shape to care.  When she found out what happened to Lucifer, she moved to Butte to set up a trap."
	"How'd she know?"
	I leaned forward, clinging more tightly to my knees.  "She's got demon friends.  Contacts in the underworld, that sort of thing.  They told her what happened, and who did it."
	"Suck."
	I laughed so bitterly it suprised even me.  "You have NO idea."
	"Wait, she didn't manage to raise Lucifer from the dead, did she?"
	"No, she failed.  She performed the ceremony right, but there were...  problems."
	"That's good, right?"
	"For humanity, yeah."  Pain stabbed through my head just behind my eyes, and I winced.  Rubbing my temples, I continued in a hoarse whisper.  "Wasn't really good for me, though."
	"Why, what happened?"
	"If I say I was tortured in ways that would have killed a mortal person, would you let me leave it at that?"  I didn't want to bring up being disembowled, having my organs used in bizarre sacrifices, being blinded and bound and mentally abused for days on end, any of it.  Just thinking about it made the pain come back, almost full force.  Based on my current state, it was hard to believe just three days ago I'd been so badly hurt, physically and mentally, that I would have welcomed death openly.
	Thankfully, I had an understanding friend.  "Yeah, you can leave it at that.  But how'd you get out?"
	I shrugged.  "I couldn't die.  Some part of my demonic physiology made me near immortal, and without being able to kill me, the ceremony was a failure."
	"You're using the past tense a lot.  On purpose?" she asked.  Dammit, I thought.  Keep forgetting she's observant.
	"Yeah."
	"Why?"
	I finally looked up.  "Astaroth saved my ass."
	"Good for him."
	"Her, actually."  That got a shocked merf out of Jamie.  "Yeah, turns out she's a...  she.  You just can't tell, 'cause her voice is really masculine and she's always wearing a cloak and stuff."
	"Weeeird.  Still doesn't explain anything."
	I sighed.  "Yeah.  Okay, so Astaroth got me out of there.  Took her forever to find me 'cause of all the wards demon-bitch and her gang had set around their ceremonial grounds.  She took me somewhere safe and helped me heal the damage."  I trailed off again.
	"And?"
	"Fuck, you're insistent," I muttered.  "I wasn't exactly stable at the time."
	"With good reason."
	"Well, yeah.  And I was thinking, y'know, it doesn't get any fucking worse than this.  As a kid, I wanted to be a DCI agent to help save lives and shit.  Noble shit like that.  But the reality is just..  unpleasant.  I spend more time in the hospital, or venting my frustrations, or crying in the corner to justify what few lives I do save.  Do you realize how lucky you are?  That you're not dead by now like everyone else in my life?"
	"Yes," she said somberly, "all too well."
	"Yeah, well, I'm sick of living in fear, and making my friends live in fear too.  I don't want this job anymore."  At some point I'd started crying, but hadn't noticed exactly when.  "It's too fucking difficult.  So."
	Lengthy pause.  I finished the burrito and quietly tossed the wrapper into the garbage.
	"So?"
	"So I begged Astaroth to make it go away.  Make me human again, so I wouldn't have to be everyone's fucking savior anymore.  And..  she did."
	"Made you human?"
	"Yeah."
	"That's possible?"
	"Yeah."
	"How?"
	I chewed on my lower lip.  "I'm not really sure.  I guess somehow demons can control the exact level of 'demon-ness' in the things they create, and since she and Lucifer are on the same level, they can affect eachothers' creations."
	"She can take away your demon side?"  Jamie's eyes widened.  "Like, entirely?"
	"Yeah.  That's why my eyes changed.  They're normal now, and I'm normal, for the first time in my life."
	Jamie just sat there.
	"So..  yeah."  I wiped my eyes on my shirt sleeve.  "A lot happened."
	"Not being demon made your eyes get darker?"
	"Among other things," I said.  "I don't have any of the powers anymore.  I can't heal as fast, my eyesight's back to average, can't hear as well..  It kinda feels like swimming in vaseline.  But I think I'll get used to it."
	"That's a really gross analogy, I hope you know."
	"Yeah, just trying to get your attention," I said dryly.
	Jamie shook her head.  "Like that's ever been a problem."  She looked at me sadly.  "You so need a hug."
	"Yeah, I do."

***

	I slept on Jamie's couch.  She woke me at noon when she went to class.  I said I'd repay her for the burritos, but she insisted that it was her job as a friend to feed me junk food when I needed it.  When she wasn't looking, I stuffed a five dollar bill into the latch of her microwave.  After smelling the cafeteria food wafting across campus, I figured she needed the junk food more than I ever would.
	"At the risk of sounding like a game show host, now that you're human, what are you going to do?"
	I shrugged.  "Hard to say.  I'm going back to Helena today to resign my position and get ahold of my finances and stuff.  Never paid any attention to that before.  And, I think I might start college here next semester."
	"Really?  Awesome!"  Jamie hugged me again.  "We can be roommates!  I think.  Unless you have to live on campus your first semester."
	"You're getting an apartment?"
	"Yeah, with the guys from my band.  It's really cheap if everyone shares the rent."  She glanced rather bitterly at the wall to her right.  "Not that I mind paying extra to get away from the world's loudest J.Lo fanatic ever.  I so much as nudge my amp up past audible, and she throws a hissy fit, but it's perfectly okay for her to play the same fucking pop-shit song over and over again for days on end?  Dumb bitch," she snarled.
	"Easy, dude, it's not that long 'til you can move out."
	"I know.  But it's still not soon enough.  Woah, shit, I am SO late for class.  Drive careful, yo, and gimme a call tonight."  She hugged me fiercly and ran out the door, waving as she hauled ass down the hall.
	Astaroth materialized as soon as I closed the door.  "Feeling any better?"
	I jumped halfway out of my skin.  "Shit, don't fucking sneak up on me like that.  I can't tell when you're going to show up anymore, remember?"
	"Sorry.  Force of habit."
	"'S ok.  And I'm okay.  Mostly.  Still getting headaches, though."
	"They'll go away after a while.  That was a lot of damage to heal in such a short period of time."
	"Point."  My breathing finally returned to normal.  "So why are you here?"
	"Checking up.  Making sure you hadn't collapsed or died or something."
	"I'm fine.  Really."
	Astaroth sighed.  "No, not really.  But you're getting better."
	"Good enough for me," I said.
	"I guess it'll have to do."  She turned toward the window.  "I'll keep you informed of anything that goes on in the underworld.  Be careful, Nina."
	"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled.  Astaroth faded from sight without a sound.

***